when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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