Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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