You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
two words...techno handjob
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
