I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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