Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
