I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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