So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES