I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain