she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha