He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When are your genitals available?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.