If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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