So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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