i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize