I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize