just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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