He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Randomize
