It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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