Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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