So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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