lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
false alarm. still invincible.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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