Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
