My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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