I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
