i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
