i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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