i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can't put those talents on a resume
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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