Kareoke will never be a sober sport
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
