i just google imaged poop.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
