Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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