Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm passing your future prison.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
