After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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