All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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