Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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