Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
