On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
