Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've blown a few things in my day
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
