any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
