she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
