How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
