The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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