Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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