oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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