He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize