this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
