I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
