I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
