But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize