I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
