I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
vagina is talking i cant
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I pour the whiskey from now on
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
