After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I would fuck him just for his dog
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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