I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
