Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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