I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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