Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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