woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
