your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
