Im at strip club and am horny
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
