Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
