Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
