Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
