She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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