I hate your face
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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