"it" just moved
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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