i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
