Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
