Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
